Rising From the Ashes

Donna’s journey proves that when one person rises, the whole community does too

The Person

The first time I heard Donna’s story, I felt goosebumps—literally. When Donna speaks, people listen.

I’ve noticed this about her, and that’s why our community is blessed to have her. Not just because she’s a great speaker, but because she speaks up for others in a way that most people do not, will not, or cannot.

She is a woman who carries both pain and hope in the same breath. She is a woman who inspires an entire community.

That’s why I knew I wanted her to be my first article in this series. She was more than willing to step into this vision with me, to help me honor people in the best way I know how—through writing and photography.

That’s what Donna does. She puts herself out there to help others.

The Story

Donna and her husband both came out of long, abusive marriages before they started the dojo together. Donna knows what it means to feel small, to be powerless, to forget who you are.

“Karate saved my life,” she told me. “It gave me the self-confidence to leave my abusive marriage. I wanted to give that same confidence back to others.”

When they opened their school, they chose the name Phoenix because they were rising from the ashes of those painful pasts. Now, every student who walks through their doors has the same opportunity to rise from their own.

When I asked Donna what role confidence plays in leaving or healing from abuse, there was no hesitation in her answer. She leaned over the table at Wei Lei (one of our favorite meeting places), her eyes damp with deep remembering.

She said, “It’s everything.”

Abuse strips people down. It takes away their sense of self until there is no self left—until you believe you can’t stand on your own.

But through martial arts, she said, something changes. Shoulders straighten. Eye contact returns. The body remembers its strength. The spirit does, too.

I thought about that for a long time after our conversation—how confidence is not just a posture, but something much deeper.

As a photographer, I see this in people all the time. As humans, we have an ability to sense confidence or insecurity in a person.

How that translates on camera is one thing. How it translates to an abuser is something much darker.

Empathy of a Community

This is why Donna started the program Black Belts Against Domestic Violence. It is more than a class—it’s a lifeline.

Women often arrive carrying the weight of fear, insecurity, and silence, sometimes unable to even meet Donna’s eyes. Through the training, they begin to rebuild themselves.

Donna says that sometimes they need multiple sessions before reaching a restorative state of being. Learning how to use their bodies to defend themselves becomes a pathway to reclaiming their voice, presence, and worth.

By the end, many walk away stronger, steadier, and with a regained sense of power and control.

The program is far-reaching, raising funds to help women in severely violent domestic situations. It has saved lives. It has helped women reclaim their lives, too.

But it’s not just women the dojo helps. It’s kids, people with special needs, and individuals from all backgrounds who need strength of mind, body, and spirit.

Their programs range from K.I.C.K.S. (Kids In Control Keep Safe), which teaches child safety, bullying prevention, and leadership, to women’s self-defense seminars, special needs karate, kickboxing, homeschool programs, and classes for toddlers, youth, and adults alike.

Beyond karate, they offer kickboxing, yoga, and fitness options. At the heart of it all is the belief that confidence, respect, and compassion can be taught—and that these values ripple outward, strengthening not just individuals, but the entire community.

Compassion is the Action

Recently, Donna shaved her head in front of her community to support a friend battling breast cancer. Nearly $5,000 was raised in less than an hour and LIVE on Facebook no less…

But the most powerful part wasn’t the money. It was the act itself.

“My friend once told me: empathy is understanding. Compassion is the action,” she said.

The kids at the dojo saw her bald head the next week. Some were afraid at first, but when Donna explained why she did it, they began to imagine their own ways of showing up for the community.

Children are capable of such incredible things. We forget that as people, they have just as much of a chance to make a difference as adults do. In some cases, maybe more. I asked Donna if she could share a moment when the dojo’s values rippled outward into the community.

She told me about a twelve-year-old who, on his own, collected money to put together Thanksgiving baskets for families who couldn’t afford a meal.

Another student raised funds to buy toys and gifts for children at Barbara Bush Hospital. These weren’t assignments or requirements—this is simply how one or two people can create a ripple in the community at large.

This is why I see Donna as a leader. It’s not a stage, not a spotlight. It’s just one person willing to step into vulnerability so others feel brave enough to follow.

Individuals as a Whole

When I asked Donna why community service matters so much, she paused.

“You can walk through life as an individual, or you can walk through life as part of the whole. If somebody in the community is hurting, then we’re all hurting. We choose to be part of the solution.”

That stayed with me—a reminder that none of us are fragments, floating alone. We belong to each other, to care for or not; the choice is ours.

The Lesson

As I write this, I keep coming back to her final words:

“I’m not telling you to shave your head. But if you see another part of the whole—humanity—that is in need, do what you can for them.”

That’s the lesson I carried with me after leaving the dojo. Confidence can be taught. Compassion can be practiced.

And sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is simply show up in whatever way you can.